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MASTERING SOCIAL ABUSE
Have you ever been falsely accused, illegally arrested, force stripped, locked away, forgotten, denied, ignored, ridiculed, or raped?
Welcome to the club!!!
Humans come in different spiritual sizes. Those who can love and care about others are the Giants. Giants include Nelson Mendella, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Albert Einstein, Mother Theresa and the millions whose name aren’t written in the history books.
The spiritual midgets are those who get pleasure from lying, stealing, cheating and abusing.
Albert Einstein, our spiritual kin, said it all:
“Great Spirits Always Encounter Violent Opposition From Mediocre Minds.”
Spiritual Giants always know Social Abuse well, but do not embrace the hurt inflicted on them. We never lose sight of who we are and we remain spiritually buoyant, not wounded. Another Spiritual kin, Nelson Mendella, was put into solitary confinement for 20 years of his life for speaking out against government policy. When they released him, he had not one ounce of bitterness. He may have pitied his oppressor. Mendella is living testimony to the buoyancy of a Great Spirit.
Let us all be our own judges.
1) What is my Purpose in this gift of life?
2) Do other’s vulgar assault on me change my Purpose?
When you are in touch with your spiritual greatness and you can feel your kinship to Nelson, Albert and Theresa, you can stand alone, endure the abuse and never lose sight of your purpose to love and be loved.
Copyright © 2002 by Steven Honig.
B All rights reserved.
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These are but a few strategies to help you cope and survive Social Abuse, while keeping your sanity.
A) Spiritual Connection~
Your Spiritual Connection is the most powerful option you have to survive your ordeal. I found comfort in the words of Albert Einstein, quoted above. I repeated his words until I felt he and I stood as one mind, one heart and one spirit. Repeat Albert’s words to yourself and see if you, too, can feel his energy and compassion. Or find your own quotable inspiration, repeat it often.
B) The Callous Palace~
When you hunker down, numb yourself and not let yourself feel physical or emotional pain until the event is long past, you can survive. This is better than resorting to alcohol, drugs or emotional outbursts because you need your sanity to make conscious decisions.
From inside your Callous Palace, you play the game with more understanding of the ‘rules of engagement’ then they think you have.
Can I hunker down long enough to survive?
What can I do with the hurt, shame, outrage...?
Long after the event, you have various options to deal with your emotional anguish.
1) You can champion the cause, take action, so others do not blindly experience the same.
2) You can attend support groups, where it is safe for you to vent your emotions. Sharing your traumatic event with a trusted other, with your intent to ‘let go’ of the emotional charges, will enable you to gradually purge the energy and move past it - although the event will never be forgotten.
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C) Your Intellect is a guide~
Be aware that love and bitterness can not dwell in the same house. Within you there is a calling and a dream for ‘love’ to be in your life. Knowing and believing this is a conscious choice you make, and, the fact that the abuser matters little.
Is my choice a life of bitterness or love?
Is revenge going to make things better for me?
Pick the choice that will serve you. And continue to focus on what will serve you best. Remember, hate energy binds you to your abuser and to the past.
D) Fantasies of Revenge~
If you experience ‘flash backs’ or a Post Traumatic Stress and have fantasies of revenge on your abuser, it is better not to suppress them. These thoughts are born of emotions that demand to be expressed. A good strategy is to seek a ‘Survivors Support Group’ where you are safe to share your ordeal and emotional trauma. The Question: Am I willing to share my ordeal in a Survivors Support Group? Women’s Groups, Veterans Groups, PsychoDrama, Mental Health Advocacy Groups, or any of the AA awareness Groups?
If you are thinking of ‘going postal’, for revenge and you have access to weapons of some sort, remember one thing, when you succeed, there are many more who could take their place, and you can figure your life is over.
Post Traumatic Stress; flashbacks, long after the abuse has occurred, are an ongoing burden for many and a disruption of relationships and lives. To better understand this burden and more strategies to gain control over it, refer to Mastering PostTraumatic Stress, an essay in this series.
Mastering Social Abuse is achieved when you consciously focus on your Purpose, your Dream and your Beliefs.